You’re Not Responsible for Others Reactions Anymore!

Stevie Noah
3 min readMay 12, 2022

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So you chose to leave religion behind.

Now Mom-Dad-Grandma-Grandpa-Bro’s-Sisters and everyone else you know got’z their panties in a bunch and the whole town is talking about you!


What do you do?

Look, being in a collective religion or cult requires you to consistently ruminate about how your thoughts behaviours and actions affect other people (as well as the big man upstairs). And while that might be a very conscious or moral thing to do as a regular person…

for someone with religious trauma, this becomes a repetitive behaviour of subjugation and people-pleasing.

In fact, this behaviour can get so bad that you literally stop yourself ANYTIME you want to do something new -

  • wear that outfit
  • go for a new job opportunity
  • ask the cutie at the bar out for a date

or even…break the mould and…

OMG HEAVEN FORBID…leave religion (scream face emoji)!!

First, know this, you will NEVER-EVER please everyone.


So don’t even bother trying.

And you’re certainly not going to convince your religious friends and family to be open to your opinions or choices.

Never…they’re are enmeshed to the soul, literally!

Their nervous system and DNA fully believe in the dogma and they ain’t budging. So unless THEY chose to step out of their comfort zone, let them go, compassionately.

And YOU focus on YOU.

If you stop yourself to consider how other people are going to think or feel about the choices you make, you’re programming your nervous system to continue the pattern of people-pleasing. You’re also systematically teaching yourself to not trust your decisions or make any decisions in the first place!

Stop it!

In this audio, I’m giving you permission to live your life!

You are not responsible for anyone’s actions anymore. I know that pattern was a MUST as a Christian, but guess what, you’re not doing that anymore.

Start small.

Choose the outfit — let ’em stare at you. (You look great btw!)

Choose a new partner — Give them something to talk about.

Take the job — adventures are for the brave and bold, you got this!

You could be ‘little Mr/Mrs perfect’ and they’re going to have an opinion about it anyway, so you might as well have some fun:)

Remember that worry, fear, anger, and sadness are feelings that will only affect their nervous system.

Not yours.

So let them be pissed off, let them or worry. them let them be pissed off and let them worry, that’s only going to affect their nervous system and their health.

You can change this pattern…because after all, that’s what it is, a pattern locked into your body-mind system. A pattern you may hate, but unfortunately can get addicted to.

If you’d like help with Religious Trauma you can get my FREE course Recognise, Release, Rehearse anywhere on my website.

If you’d like to work with me one-on-one to powerfully and rapidly release behaviours, triggers or patterns related to religious trauma and move forward to create a life you LOVE, go HERE.

Please tell me about your experiences with using the Positive Intention Question in the comments below!

And please like, subscribe, share:)

Remember to choose a life you love!

Remember to be the predominant creator in your life!

Remember to live your true nature and purpose!

Choose to be a creator, not an obeyer!

Stevie xo







Stevie Noah

I help religious trauma & cult survivors overcome chronic patterns of unworthiness, fear, guilt, and shame so they can reinvent their life w/o years of therapy